I'm My Own Worst Enemy

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❌ This is just who I am

❌ I can’t change

❌ I can’t do any better

Those are all versions statements I used to tell myself and mutter to others when I was afraid or feeling uncomfortable.

Now when I say those statements to myself, I get really curious and start to ask myself:

Is this true?

Is this statement holding me back?

✅ Am I just afraid and starting to get close to the edge of my comfort zone?


I find that usually, I am my own worst enemy.

A lot of my success has come from just taking one or two steps out of my comfort zone by becoming aware of what is holding me back.

There are three basic ways to build your awareness of what could be holding you back:

  • Reflection

  • Feedback

  • Assessments 

I wanted to share some of my favorite free online tools I have used to help me not only communicate my potential blockers but help me shift to a more aligned and effective leader.

How You Self Sabotage

I am obsessed with personality assessments and quizzes.  I love using them to learn more about myself and to share how others can use me more effectively.

I love this assessment because it gives you the vocabulary to talk about some of the things that hold us back.   When I need to help a leader explain some of the negative ways in which they can come across, I share this assessment because it provides you a list of saboteurs that we all have within us.   I recently completed a program around this assessment and coaching is a great way to help you develop techniques to keep the saboteurs from hijacking your ability to engage, connect, and achieve your goals.

Assessments are not meant to categorize you or limit you in any way but they are a great way to learn more about yourself.

The Four Tendencies 

I love the concept of Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies and the quiz she put together to help us quickly understand how do we respond to expectations.

According to the quiz, I am a rebel:

“Rebels can do anything they choose to do, and they seek to live up to their own identity and their values.”

If you want me to do something for you, appeal my identity.

The quiz is a great starting point to help members of a team learn what might motivate each other and gives you an easy idea of how to appeal to someone who might be different from you.  According to the webpage, over 2.8 million people have taken it.

Assessments are a great starting point if you are stuck engaging with others.

16 Personalities

This assessment based on one of the assessments I’m certified to administer, the MBTI:

16 Personalities provide a lot of interesting information to start a conversation if you are having issues connecting or engaging in your personal or professional life.

What is your four-letter result? 

This is a free version so please keep in mind that there is a lot of additional value that you can get if you work with someone who is certified to administer and interpret the assessment.


I have found that many assessments have opened my eyes to opportunities and helped me explore my values and interests. 

This next assessment, DISC, is a popular one. 

The 15-minute version I linked to is an assessment to better understand your personality type and behavioral style so you can recognize the right opportunities to achieve the results you desire.

I am DI (Initiator) personality type.  My personality type tends to approach people and situations in an energetic, lively manner. According to my results, I am also likely to enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over with strong social skills.

I’m not sure I have strong social skills but I am constantly working on them.

The Brain Type Quiz

The Brain Type Quiz meant to help you figure out the way you process information and relate to the world around you.  

The idea is that by knowing your brain type you can create a productivity system that works best for you.

Unsurprisingly I’m the Architect. I’m a detailed thinker.

Five Love Languages Quiz

One of the most popular online quizzes is the Five Love Languages Quiz.

I think that this quiz is a great starting point to think about what you prefer in terms of acknowledgment or rewards.

It is important that you can communicate to others, beyond a romantic partner, what you need to feel valued.

We have to teach others how to treat us.

I was not surprised that my main Love Language is quality time.

I love spending time with people (my family, my former teams, friends, etc) I value and would prefer that over a gift any day.


Assessments help you further reflect on your strengths and weaknesses. 

If you know anything about the INTJ personality type, you might find it a bit curious that I’ve been able to ‘overcome’ a lot of my innate preferences and behaviors. 

It actually amazes me when I reflect on how far I’ve come. 

I wanted to share what I’ve learned about myself, especially now that I’m a full-time coach and consultant (in addition to a Myers–Briggs Type Indicator - MBTI - certified practitioner) that has INTJ preferences. 

Please note that I leverage assessments as a tool for reflection and to start conversations to move people forward.

Assessments do not define you or your capabilities and the results should not limit you and should not be used as an excuse for behavior that does not serve you or your goals. 

In this post (LINK), I use the MBTI because it is one of the common and easy-to-communicate personality frameworks. 

When you are ready to stop making excuses, and start making the most of yourself (and teach others how to effectively use you), join my upcoming masterclass 'From Overhelemed Manager to Aligned Executive' (LINK) and I will show you how!


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