Ep 87 // Smashing Barriers and Reaching Peak Performance with Darcy Luoma

NOTE: Please excuse any errors in this transcript; it was created using an AI tool. Akua Nyame-Mensah 00:00 My guest this week is a mother triathletes has worked on various campaigns, including two presidential campaigns in the US. Oh, and she's a master certified coach that is celebrating 10 years in her business that has worked with over 500 Different businesses in over 40 different industries. If you want to hear how my guests engages with hurdles, and her life and business, keep listening. Hello, and welcome to the open door conversations podcast. My name is Akua Nyame-Mensah. I also respond to Aqua and Akua. I'm a certified executive and leadership coach recognised learning and organisational development facilitator, speaker and former startup executive. And I am so excited because this year I'm celebrating five years of working for myself five years of supporting leaders. And I am so grateful because I've had the opportunity to partner with amazing organisations, from high growth startups to multinational brands all around the world. In 2022. Alone, I serve over 600 Yes, over 600 leaders around the world. And in this podcast, you will have the opportunity to learn my three step leadership framework. I actually break it down in Episode 71. I use this framework with my high achieving and entrepreneurial minded clients that are juggling a million responsibilities so they can easily build wealth. This three step framework is going to teach you how to leverage your innate personality to learn how to prioritise and maximise not just your time, but also your money. You don't have to work harder or turn into someone else. To get more done. Let's tune into this week's episode. Right. So I am so excited. I'm so excited about some of these accomplishments you shared with me Darcy. So this first one on here is that you just celebrated 10 years in your business. Can you tell us a little bit more about your coaching consulting firm? And why did you even start it? Unknown Speaker 02:15 Yes, thank you for having me. I will say it 10 years is a substantial celebration for me, for a couple of reasons. One, so I spent the first 20 years of my career in politics. And the US senator I was working for for 12 years had announced he was going to retire in 2012. And I hired a coach and my family, my friends, myself, we all just assumed I would stay in the political field campaigns government. And my coach said, Darcy, if in 10 years, you looked back at this moment in time and had no regrets about your decision. What would you do? And I was like, oh my god, are you kidding? I start my own coaching and consulting firm. Yeah, immediately came to me. And then almost quick, as quickly came the saboteur is in the inner tracks talk, you can't do that you have a family of four to support where you're going to get health insurance. So anyway, she helped me work through all of those internal and external obstacles. And so I launched my business. So celebrating 10 years was really exciting. Akua Nyame-Mensah 03:18 Oh, I love that. And I love how what you're doing now is very much around helping leaders with those internal stories as well. And I'm looking forward to diving a little bit deeper into your framework. But before I share your two other accomplishments that you're proud of, can you please introduce yourself for our guests? Unknown Speaker 03:35 Oh, thank you so much. i My name is Darcy Lama. And my primary role is being a mom to two teenage daughters. I am an athlete I've been doing this will be my 2060s and doing triathlons of every length. And I'm a business owner. I have an amazing team. And we have awesome clients. And I truly love what I do. Akua Nyame-Mensah 03:59 Oh, I love that. And you already mentioned another one that accomplishment you shared with me your girls. But let's talk about your last one thoughtfully fits. Tell us a little bit more about your book. Unknown Speaker 04:09 Yeah. So I started to notice that there were themes every client, I've been coaching now for 19 years and 1000s of clients. And I started to notice that everybody that came into our coaching sessions, no matter the role, the title, the industry, gender, that they all had similar problems that get in the way of being high performing. So my team and I took five years to do a deep dive to research now what are the main hurdles that get in the way of peak performance? And we found there are six there are six top themes of what gets in the way and different details different story but the essence is the same for everybody. That became the basis for the thoughtfully fit model. And the premise is that just like you can train not only can you you need to train and pray Just to be physically fit, and have peak performance. The same is true if you want to have peak performance in your life and you're in your work that you need to train and practice how to handle those challenges thoughtfully. And so that then turned into the model. And then the book is thoughtfully fit your training plan for business and life success. Akua Nyame-Mensah 05:22 I love that. And I've been a fan. You know, since being introduced to you, I've been getting your emails. And as I mentioned, before we started recording, you know, I recently just retook the quiz. And I'm not surprised that the results, if anything, excited that it just helps to reinforce something that I've been trying to get better at. So I retook the quiz. And I actually got stillness is currently my biggest hurdle. And I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised. Unknown Speaker 05:47 I tell you what that is. So common. Stillness is all about being able to quiet the mind. So just like if you want to have peak physical performance, you have to take rest days, you need your body rebuilds the muscles stronger when it's in recovery and resting. The same is true for our life that you need to quiet the mind. And yet, there's often so much to do. It's overwhelming and stillness for many of us, I put myself in that category doesn't rise to the highest priority. We don't hold it with the same regard as we do the action items and the things on our to do list. Akua Nyame-Mensah 06:22 Yeah. And I think you know, so stillness is one of those internal things. It's one of those inner game things. And one of the things I love to talk about my clients is the importance of both considering the inner game and the outer game. And so I'm curious, from your perspective, is there any place that you're working on or any place that you're currently looking at, based on where you are in your career in your business? Unknown Speaker 06:43 Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm a little bit of a self help junkie. But and so I'm always working with either my coach, my therapist, I'm attending a couple of different programmes, I'm in masterminds, I'm doing podcasts and listening and reading, there's always things I'm working on right now, my current challenge, what I'm focused on is 10x. In our business, I just read Dan Sullivan's book 10x is easier than to x. And really leaning into being the the visionary and the CEO and founder of my company, I historically, I get a little too involved in the details and in the weeds, a little bit of a control freak. And so I'm working on just releasing that. And I have an amazing team and just trusting them so that I can put my energy in this more creative visionary space. Akua Nyame-Mensah 07:37 Oh, that's super exciting. I love it. So celebrating 10 years and also looking to 10x what you're doing in your business. And like I'm curious, like what you know, when you have that, that space? What are you going to create? What are you looking forward to, to being able to do? Unknown Speaker 07:51 Well, here's so so we develop thoughtfully fit the model, we all of our programming. Now we've got a signature keynote on thoughtfully fit, wrote the book on fat play fit all of our training programmes for organisations, around the model on the six practices, you mentioned, one of them, stillness quieting the mind. So what we found is that if you don't consistently train and practice, you lose the skills just like you could run a marathon and then you don't do anything else, your fitness does not stay you need to it's a continual journey. And so what we realised is, it's hard to continually train and practice to be thoughtfully fit on your own. And so we created we launched last April, the thoughtfully fit gym, and we've been in development and experimentation. I think going 10x has something to do with the gym. It's an online virtual community where leaders and teams can train for peak performance in the workplace. It's a subscription model, and we've been playing with it. And it's a really unique, awesome, amazing concept. And we have a lot, there's so much potential there to take it to the next. So I think that's going to be the space that we're going to play in. Akua Nyame-Mensah 09:07 I love that. That sounds super exciting. And I also love really how you've taken like you said this one framework, I've really been able to use it in so many places. As someone who also plays a lot of sports. I love this idea of sort of using athletic metaphors and sport metaphors to really help you think about how you're showing up in the workplace as well. How did you even get into triathlons? Like, what was it was exciting for you. Unknown Speaker 09:29 So I've always been an athletes in seventh grade. I was in you know, cross country running and track and skied the Junior Olympics and cross country skiing and oh, yeah, I so loved it. And I'm not a stellar I mean, I'm not doing this to win, but I love the community. I love being fit. I love having a social reason to focus on, you know, my health and fitness. And so in 1998 I did my first marathon and met a Uh, what was became my best friend and she said, Let's go to a triathlon. Like watch me triathlon and she's like, come on, it'll be fun. You're fit enough. So we went, I got there. I'm like, Oh, am I supposed to have a wetsuit, we're gonna swim in that lake. I had a mountain bike. It was super hilly. It was hard, really hard. But I was hooked. I just love the energy. There's people of every age, every shape, every size every every just every ability level. And I was like, Yeah, this is cool. And so the only season that I missed in the last 25 years is when I had a one year old, and I was pregnant with number two. Akua Nyame-Mensah 10:41 Wow, that's absolutely incredible. Absolutely incredible. And with all the work that you've done, and all the things that you do, what advice would you give your girls, especially around leadership, or even thinking about their career? What do you think has been one of the key lessons you've learned that you'd love to leave them with? Unknown Speaker 10:58 Well, that's a great question. I mean, we're talking all the time about life. And I and the first thing that came to mind is us, the question is, they don't love getting advice from mom. And so I'm, Akua Nyame-Mensah 11:12 like, knowing my place. Unknown Speaker 11:14 So I'm often stepping more into a coaching role, or using a coaching approach and like asking questions, and helping them create awareness. And I'd say that the number one thing, I think, is really focusing in on what do you love? Where's your passion and giving yourself full permission to explore that? I knew, Oh, my gosh, I knew in college, I wanted to be doing leadership development and speaking. Wow, how did you Akua Nyame-Mensah 11:39 know that I didn't even know about coaching it like Unknown Speaker 11:43 I knew it. But I didn't give myself permission to do it. Because I was in a leadership seminar. And in college, I ran a Leadership Institute for Youth. I just knew it. But I didn't give myself permission. I worked in politics and campaigns and for a governor in which which was all fine, but it wasn't my passion. And that's why that that when that coach said, What would you do? If you have no regrets? was the best question ever. Because I have never really given myself permission to follow my heart and my passion and my dreams, I did what I thought I should do. And every time I get a call, from somebody, say, Hey, do you want to come and run this, whatever this of this office or work on this campaign? I'd be like, Oh, I think I'd be good at that. They want me I better do it, instead of really looking at my heart. So that's the one thing I say regardless of what it doesn't matter what it is you want to do really tapping into your heart, your passion, your joy, and then allowing it to shift and evolve over time. What brings me joy today is different than than than what did in the past. Wow, Akua Nyame-Mensah 12:48 I absolutely love that. And I love that you finally gave yourself permission to do so. And that you had a safe space and someone that could have these conversations with, you know, beyond potentially having you know, an external thought partner or coach, do you have any other advice or suggestions on even how to find your passion, tap into that, and even just build the confidence to at least try or attempt it? Unknown Speaker 13:09 Yeah, I mean, that's such a powerful question. Because when my coach asked me, What would you do? It immediately came to me, okay, so yeah, well, okay, I just did for other people. They don't know, they they're like, I don't I don't know, what am I passionate? I don't know, because they're going through the motions, and doing sometimes what's safe, what's known what's comfortable. And so I think paying attention to your energy, and to what what sparks your joy? What are you interested in? What would you do if you had, you know, no, nobody telling you what you can and can't do if money wasn't an issue. And then the other thing, I think, is, as you're exploring that, going out, and having conversations and informational interviews with people, companies, industries that you are intrigued with, so that you can get an in a more of an insider understanding of what is it like, I mean, when I decided that I wanted to launch my own business, I had coffee dates with 20 people who already were doing this, okay. And I said, kind of informational interview, what do you love about it? What's hard about it? When you first started, what do you wish you knew then that you know now that I probably don't know, I got a lot of information. And that really helped me then to, to make some decisions. And so for instance, also, one of the reason I say pay attention, your passion is I had a lot of people saying that you need a podcast, you need a podcast, if you're going to be successful. You want to be an entrepreneur, you need a podcast, which of course is so true. And yet, I'm not passionate about doing a podcast. So I went into my coach and I said, Okay, I gotta do a podcast. She's like, whoa, whoa, what? What's your energy? It doesn't sound like there's a lot of joy there. I'm like, Well, I don't I don't really want to but I have to if I want to be successful, she's like, No, you don't. You have to do what brings you joy and passion. And so that's why I say continuing paying attention to what your energy is, and where what brings you the most sort of spark, that sort of Trumps what people say you should do. As that makes sense. Akua Nyame-Mensah 15:14 I think that makes complete sense. And you know, what comes to mind, it's really interesting. I actually had a coaching session earlier today. And what comes to mind when I was thinking about what you just shared in relation to this coaching conversation I just had was, you know, having to just create space for, you know, this word, you know, even referred to earlier stillness. And I think even that framework that you teach really is about that pausing and reflecting and then choosing to act. And I think for so many of the leaders that I've had a chance to support, right, high achievers, they're doing the things, but they're busy, busy, you know, just trying to continue to move forward. So how can they really pause thing so that they can act or change, or even think that, hey, this may be something possible for me that, hey, I can even potentially, you know, set up informational interviews to learn more. Unknown Speaker 16:06 Yeah. And it's interesting, because what you are beautifully teeing me up for is the core of thoughtfully fit. So I talked about there's these six practices, the six hurdles, at the core are three simple steps you pause, think and act. What's interesting is everybody has a default mode or a preference a go to response. And so some people are really good at pausing. They're good, there's a hurdle, there's a challenge, there's an obstacle, they want to they want to dream bigger, they're really good at taking a moment to be in the moment to notice their feelings and thoughts. Other people are really good at thinking at analysing the situation from multiple perspectives. And then others are really good at acting, and sort of like taking control to fix the problem. The thing to remember is that what your default preference is, and what's most natural to you is not always most effective. And what you naturally do our strengths, taking the extreme become a weakness. So if you're really good at pausing, it might turn into a five or a Netflix binge of avoidance. If you're really good at thinking you might overthink and ruminate and get analysis paralysis. And if you're good at acting, you might you might act impulsively, and overreact. So the key is to notice and to be aware of what's your default? And then how do you do all three in order? So your question that teed this up was, you know, how do you pause, some people are really good at the pausing. If you're not good at the pausing. That is where you need to focus on and sometimes it's just take a moment, take a breath and count to three, because the pause does not need to I mean, it can be longer, but it's enough to get you off of autopilot to set you up for success, to think to ask yourself some some thoughtful questions to create some new awareness so that you then can act thoughtfully. Akua Nyame-Mensah 18:01 Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yes. Thank you so much for that. And I think that idea of we have a default is so true, because I think my default is probably to think and overthink, analysis paralysis, ask all the people and every stakeholder. Right? And you know, that once again, doesn't allow me to act. And I'm not really reflecting or pausing. What I'm doing is just having so much, you know, so many conversations, right? So much stimulus. Yeah. Unknown Speaker 18:26 And that's great. Your awareness to know, okay, so thinking is good, trying on all the different scenarios and the perspectives and analysing and that's good. So with that self awareness, then what you know is okay, the risk is now that I'm going to overthink, and I'm going to over ruminate, and I'm never going to pull the trigger to go have that tough conversation or to take the action. So that is awareness is key for you to say, Okay, I've got enough information I'm going to act. And then you can pause again and think how did that go? Did they get the results that I wanted? And then you can act by shifting if you didn't? Akua Nyame-Mensah 18:59 Yeah, I love that. Yes, I absolutely love how you talk through that. And that's not something I've thought very much about. So definitely, definitely will spend some time pausing and reflecting on that a bit more. Yes. I love it. Um, you mentioned something earlier in relation to passion. And so I wanted to ask, you've been doing this for about 10 years now. How has your passion evolved in your business? Has it been around sort of the types of opportunities you're excited about? Has it been sort of where you focused in the business? I'm just really curious how it looks for you. Unknown Speaker 19:31 Hmm, wow. I think it has evolved. And for me, I love I love to learn, I love to grow. And so where I started in developing my business and my skills and becoming a coach, the passion was so high there and I got certified. You know, got trained and certified In coaching, and then I got my masters certified coach by the International Coach Federation. Then I got certified in organisation and relationship systems coaching soccer coach teams, that that passion drove me for several years when I hit the point where I'm like, oh my god, I love coaching, I kick asset coaching, I'm good at it. I was no longer in that conscious incompetence or nervous or am I doing this right? Then that that I can see I love coaching, but then my passion for learning kind of shifted to, okay, how do I want to I want to be become an awesome keynote speaker. And that growing and sort of okay, joining the National Speakers Association, and going out there and learning about how to craft a speech, and the stage presence and how to have engagement and how a speech is a keynote is different than the training. So I'd say my passion always is around where can I next push myself to learn and grow? Akua Nyame-Mensah 21:01 I love that I actually was the first time I think I've asked a question like this, and I'm so glad I did. Because what you've just shared really resonates with me, I haven't been doing this as long. But I definitely think there's something about the way I think about it, there's something about challenging myself, right. So coaching is a challenge. No opinions, you know, want to hear my clients want to make sure focusing on their agenda versus facilitation, which is very different from speaking and like you said, very different for giving a keynote. So I love that. Because I think that's something that also very much drives me in what I do day to day as well. There's a challenge. I love that shift and knowing that I need to show up a bit differently. Unknown Speaker 21:39 And that's beautiful. What your underlying underlining anybody tomorrow can can put up a website and say they're a coach and a lot of people. Yeah, without the training to me what's so powerful. And what was so hard it took me years and years and years to get to a master certified coach, because coaches don't give advice. They don't know because they don't tell they don't solve. And most people think, oh, you're a coach, you're gonna tell me how to live my life how to reach my goals? No, no, that's not coaching. If that's what you want, then that's a mentor. That's a teacher, that's a facilitator. That's a consultant. It's not a coach. So just that to me, that bar was really high. And I was very passionate about being able to, to master How do I not show up and give advice? Because it's incredibly hard? If Akua Nyame-Mensah 22:25 it is not to say I love the challenge for me, it's like, how do I challenge myself because I can have opinions all day. And Unknown Speaker 22:34 it's, that's the easy part. The hard part is self managing, and creating curiosity and mirroring back what you're noticing, and pointing out blind spots and asking powerful questions. Yeah, Akua Nyame-Mensah 22:47 yeah. So I know earlier, you mentioned that you are focused on 10x in your business, but is there anything else that you're learning beyond that? Or is it just primarily sort of working on the business? Or Yeah, any other new skills related to coaching or facilitating, Unknown Speaker 23:03 I am learning so much, I'm learning so much. And it's evolved. You know, when I first started my business, I was a solopreneur. Yeah, and it has only been through the last decade that as I've narrowed my scope of my focus, I've gotten clear on the thoughtfully fit model, I've hired and brought on coaches and trainers and consultants on the team. My journey has evolved. So the place I'm at now in where I'm learning and growing, I'm in a programme called Strategic Coach, Dan Sullivan. It's phenomenal. And it's really helping me to look at how to create systems and processes. So that my business, it's a self managing business, the team is focused on, they get the invoices out, they have the sales calls, they send the handouts, and the PowerPoints and all the things that that I used to be involved in. I'm learning how to how to schedule my days and my life and my business differently. And it's really, really hard. And it's really awesome. And having free days where I'm not focused on anything for work. Oh, my God. Akua. Akua Nyame-Mensah 24:13 Sounds amazing how? Unknown Speaker 24:18 Yeah, so that that, to me, is where I'm at is looking at how to structure my business for the greatest impact and where I'm getting in the way of that. Akua Nyame-Mensah 24:30 I love that. And you know, so I, you know, I'm still a solopreneur, right? So I'm doing I'm working on my business and in my business. And so as a solopreneur. I'm curious, how did you take the jump from being like, look, it's not just not that it's just about me, but it kind of is just about me, right? To know, I want to build something bigger and beyond myself. I want to have a legacy. What sort of happened to get you to that point where you're like, Nope, I'm ready to bring others on to teach them my approach. Unknown Speaker 24:57 I'll say it was an evolution and it was like well, One step at a time. So it was maybe six months into my business, I was overwhelmed. And I was talking to my coach, and she's like you need, you need an assistant, you need a virtual assistant. And I'm like, Well, I don't know if I can afford an assistant. She's like, you can't afford not to. And so that was the first thing and I brought on Libby. And it was every step of the way. And I remember in 2008, so I launched my business in January of 2013. And 2015, I had more coaching clients than I knew what to do with what of less than double. That was incredible, because I focused a lot on becoming a phenomenal coach. And so the great thing about when you're really good at your craft, is you get you get referrals, and you you get testimonials. And I got to the point where I was overwhelmed, and it was starting to not be fun anymore, because I had too many clients, I was some of my business coach said, Well, you either raise your rates, which which I did. And or, but I didn't want to not have an impact for people who couldn't pay triple of what I was charging, or you expand your team. So that was where I'm like, okay, so I spent an entire year thinking through, what does it look like to expand my team, I don't want to build an empire. I don't I love having my team where we're at, because it allows me to, to know everybody to have an awesome culture. And so I was very intentional about designing what my vision is. And I've got seven coaches and trainers on my team. And they're awesome. And that's the sweet spot for me. And so I guess my point is, if I bottom line, it is every step of the way, when I realised there was a need, and there was a little overwhelm, we brought on a new person. So I now have somebody who's just my executive assistant, that's all she does, we have a have a content or client relations person who she's just focused on helping the client from beginning contract to end. And we've got a salesperson, right, we just sort of slowly built people on, as we found that there was a need. The other thing that I'll say that I learned going from a solopreneur, to having a team is I always have a pilot, and now it's a four month pilot, so I'm gonna bring somebody on, we need to know is it a good fit both ways. And it's a big, it's a big risk to take someone on, if you don't know them. And it's a big risk for somebody to come to take a new job. So the four month pilot, we say at the end of four months, either party can say goodbye with no explanation and no hard feelings, zero. And that's happened many times. And that has really saved me and save the team members from committing to something that isn't the right fit for the long term and not knowing how do you get out? Akua Nyame-Mensah 27:46 Oh, I love that. I love how you've been able to build this out organically. And like you said, I think it's in the best interest of both your organisation and the individual interested in working with you to give some time, right? Because it does take time to see whether or not hey, is this someplace where I can add? Is this a place where I can see myself? And vice versa? Right. So both sides? Unknown Speaker 28:04 Yes, both sides that having a no guilt exit plan to say, and you don't even need to have any reason. But the people who that will spin both ways, right? Have people doing a pilot are like, Oh, I thought this was gonna be amazing, because I love that like that. I love your company. But I realised this isn't what I want. It became clear to me. Fabulous, great, perfect. Go do what you want. I have one team member she really she wanted to be a real estate agent. Fabulous. I love it. Yeah, yes. And the same thing on our end where I we had somebody who was a salesperson. And after a couple of months, we realised Wow, they they aren't the right fit for what we're looking for. Akua Nyame-Mensah 28:44 I think those are things that we need to to allow to happen. Because I think sometimes we just look at it as failure as opposed to celebrating like, nope, we've gotten clarity on what makes sense. And at the end of the day, it's a win for all. Unknown Speaker 28:56 Absolutely. And I'll say I have a lot of people in my mastermind and colleagues who have decided to stay solopreneurs or keep a really tight, small team intentionally. So the measure of success is not that you build or grow and scale. It's the measure of success is what brings you the most joy and passion and energy that you're working on. And that's why even for me at one point several years ago, we wanted to grow and as we were doing that, I realised like this isn't fun anymore. There's the team is too big. I really want to be intentional. Akua Nyame-Mensah 29:28 Yeah. All right. Well, I think that that leads me maybe to one of the last questions I want to ask what brings you joy outside of the work that you do day to day? Unknown Speaker 29:36 Hmm, I would say my daughters, okay, they're, they're just they're 15 and 17 and they are goofy, confident and sassy and independent. And then they just they bring me a tonne of joy. Akua Nyame-Mensah 29:55 I love it. Alright, so both both in accomplishments and then also something that It continues to bring you joy day in and day out. I absolutely love it. To close this out. How can people find out more about you? Where can they find out about your work and maybe even purchase your book? Unknown Speaker 30:10 Oh, thank you. Yeah, so the books for sale, you have audible, Amazon, Barnes and Noble allover thoughtfully fit, you can search, our website is Darcy loma.com. And there's all sorts of videos and blogs and content, thought play fit.com is where you can go to take the quiz if you want to figure out which of those six HURT What are the six hurdles and which of them is your biggest and then get some strategies to overcome those hurdles, that hurdle. The same strategies I use with my clients the same strategies that are outlined in the thought flee fit book, thoughtfully fit.com. It's just a couple minutes quiz. it'll spit out your primary hurdle and then you'll get some strategies on how to overcome that. Akua Nyame-Mensah 30:49 Yeah. And we'll make sure we put all that in the show notes. Definitely take the quiz. Honestly, I'm a massive fan of your contents. I love your emails. So thank you. Thank you so much for your time. Darcy. I really appreciate it. Unknown Speaker 31:02 I loved our conversation and just your your curiosity and presence and active listening. Thank you. It's truly a pleasure to be a guest with you today. Thank you so much. Akua Nyame-Mensah 31:12 Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. Please share this episode with someone who can benefit from its contents. If you found this episode helpful, I want to ask you to leave a review. This makes it easier for other people to find my podcast and also allows me to bring on even bigger guests, and even more fascinating stories. Thank you so much for listening again. Stay safe and stay sane