When “You Lack Executive Presence” Really Means “You’re Not Like Me”

Why the loudest and most familiar voices are often rewarded over the most valuable ideas

We often think workplace bias shows up in obvious ways.

Hiring discrimination.

Pay inequity.

Exclusion from opportunities.

But during our recent #PeopleBeforeStrategy Roundtable on Stereotypes & Accents: The Overlooked Bias Undermining Performance, we explored how bias shapes workplace culture every day. We talked about how leaders often make assumptions about people based on superficial traits including how they communicate.

Who sounds “professional.”

Who appears “executive.”

Who leaders instinctively trust.

Who gets interrupted less.

Whose communication style feels familiar.

In today’s increasingly distributed workplaces, these assumptions have a real impact on performance, visibility, belonging, and opportunity. One quote from one of our guest experts and leadership consultant and author Minette Norman stayed with me long after the conversation ended:

“Executive presence can become coded language for ‘you’re not like me.’”

That statement captures something many organizations still struggle to address.

Even when companies say they value inclusion, many systems still reward familiarity, confidence, proximity, and dominant-group norms.

The Loudest Voice Is Not Always the Best Idea

One of the most powerful moments from the discussion came when Minette reflected on her experience leading global teams in the tech industry. She shared that some of the quietest employees on her teams often had the most innovative ideas.

But they were frequently overlooked because:

• English wasn’t their first language

• They were introverted

• They communicated differently from U.S.-based leadership norms

Meanwhile, the people most consistently heard by executives were often:

• more extroverted,

• physically closer to headquarters,

• or simply more familiar to leadership.

This is where affinity bias quietly shapes organizational decision-making.

As humans, we naturally gravitate toward people who feel familiar to us. But familiarity is not the same thing as capability. When organizations confuse confidence with competence, they risk overlooking extraordinary talent. This challenge becomes even more important in remote and hybrid workplaces, where visibility and communication style often become shortcuts for leadership potential.

Who feels comfortable speaking quickly in meetings?

Who dominates virtual conversations?

Whose communication style aligns most closely with existing leadership expectations?

Those patterns matter more than many leaders realize. As Minette shared during the conversation, leaders often dismiss people by saying they “lack executive presence.”

But whose version of executive presence are we rewarding?

And what valuable perspectives are organizations unintentionally filtering out?

Psychological Safety Is Not Experienced Equally

Another important theme from the Roundtable was psychological safety. Psychological safety is not simply whether employees can speak. It’s whether they believe speaking is safe for them specifically.

Our next guest expert and executive coach and career strategist Dr. Brandi R. Muñoz, PCC, CMCS, SPHR, NCOPE spoke candidly about how women and underrepresented professionals often have to think carefully about how they communicate at work.

Assertiveness may be rewarded in some employees while penalized in others.

Direct feedback from one person may be viewed as strategic.

The same behavior from someone else may be labeled:

• aggressive,

• emotional,

• difficult,

• or “not collaborative.”

Minette added another important layer:

“It is riskier for some people to speak up than it is for someone in the dominant group.”

Over time, employees learn which behaviors feel safe and which do not. Eventually, many stop contributing fully altogether. One of the most insightful parts of the discussion centered around the difference between symbolic psychological safety and real psychological safety.

Many organizations say they want employees to speak honestly.

But employees are constantly asking themselves:

• Will this damage my reputation?

• Will I be labeled difficult?

• Will this affect future opportunities?

• Is honesty actually rewarded here?

Those concerns are not experienced equally across teams.

Inclusion Requires More Than Invitation

One of my favorite moments from the conversation was the discussion around redesigning participation itself.

Inclusive leadership is not simply:

“We invited everyone to the meeting.”

It’s:

“We intentionally created conditions where people could contribute meaningfully.”

That may look like:

• written brainstorming before discussion,

• async feedback collection,

• virtual whiteboards,

• intentional pauses,

• or leaders directly inviting quieter contributors into the conversation.

These changes may seem small, but they fundamentally change whose ideas get surfaced. In many organizations, traditional meeting dynamics reward the fastest speakers, the most confident communicators, or the people already closest to power.

Modern leadership, however, requires leaders who understand that communication styles vary across cultures, personalities, and lived experiences.

As Dr. Brandi asked during the discussion:

“Whose voice is missing?”

I believe that question can transform team culture when leaders ask it consistently.

Because inclusion is not theoretical, it is operational. It shows up in the small leadership behaviors repeated every single day.

Or, as Minette reminded us:

“Culture is how we behave every single day.”

Three Questions Leaders Should Ask Themselves

As organizations navigate restructuring, AI disruption, burnout concerns, and increasing pressure to move faster, many teams default to speed and familiarity.

But sustainable performance requires something deeper.

It requires leaders who are willing to slow down long enough to ask:

• Whose voices consistently get heard in our meetings?

• What communication styles are we unintentionally rewarding?

• What valuable ideas might we be missing because they don’t sound familiar to leadership?

The organizations that will build stronger cultures in the years ahead will not necessarily be the loudest. They will be the ones that create environments where people feel safe enough and valued enough to contribute fully.

Join the next free monthly Roundtable designed for leaders who understand that businesses are people. Each session is a live, facilitated space where decision-makers, team leads, and people professionals connect, learn, and grow together. Register here.

Originally posted on 06/08/2026 on LinkedIn.